Quotations
The quotations page has now made it onto the website! Fill it with all those overheard amusing, peculiar or down right slanderous phrases by emailing them (and preferably a time, place and the people involved) to anyone on the committee.
Cottage in Ireland, August 2014Richie - That's the fastest you've done that
Sara - Because he was fucking in my arse!
Ireland, August 2014I want to harvest your Birthday faeces.
Ballymaglancy, August 2014Simon - Andrew invited us to his house once and we did it in his garden. We hadn't done it before, just bashed one out and got good results.
County Mayo, Ireland, August 2014It's nothing to get excited over (a 300m cock)
County Mayo, Ireland, August 2014If I end up pregnant, I'm blaming you (to Richie)
Sutton-in-Ashfield, July 2014Adam (upon emerging from a cave): My arsehole is much bigger now!
Pub, February 2014Cara: you should take a photo on your smart-cleverness-phone...
Castleton, February 2014Elliott: I have the stamina of a 70 year old
Pub, November 2013Sara: it looks weird when I haven't got a bare chest!
UBSS hut, fresher's weeekend 2013, October 2013it's something like only stick it in as far as you can pull it out
UBSS hut, fresher's weeekend 2013, October 2013I have wild childbearing hips
UBSS hut, fresher's weeekend 2013, October 2013I'm not stuck just taking a break
UBSS hut, fresher's weeekend 2013, October 2013if i was single and sober I'd let anyone do that to me
UBSS hut, fresher's weeekend 2013, October 2013it was really hard wood
UBSS hut, fresher's weeekend 2013, October 2013poverty is necessary for good beer
SWCC Hut, October 2013Sara to Jacob: You've got a good strong tongue...
SWCC Hut, October 2013Sara: can I stick my finger in this? I'll stick it in this side...
Swildons, September 2013Jacob giving the "If you get cold, tired or hungry..." part of the fresher talk:
"If you get sad, lonely or bored..."
Wagamamas, April 2013Frank: What's the best way? Should I go up and down while I suck?
Cat's House, March 2013Cat (to Geoff): ooh...your legs are quite big aren't they!
SWCC, March 2013Cayley: ...and suddenly there was an Anya between my legs!
TSG, February 2013Cayley: I was Slippin' 'n' Rippin'!
Bar crawl, February 2013Alina: When I think of Stu [Alldred] I think of vegetarian, not drinking, SRT, not drinking, vegetarian...and organising stuff!
UBSS Hut, December 2012Cayley (about Jacob): He looks fun, I'll have a go with him.
UBSS Hut, December 2012James MacFarlane: Don't touch the backdoor, it's really furry...!
Goatchurch, December 2012Simon: I can't get between my legs, but there is sort of a "V" down there...
UBSS Hut, October 2012Alice: Stop resting your wine on my leg, it's getting me really wet.
UBSS Mendip hut, October 2012Jacob: I got it wet when I was collecting wood.
Belfry, September 2012Anya: don't stick your finger in the hole! You don't know what's been in there and it might get bigger!
Belfry, September 2012Cayley: Well, I certainly like it big!
Otter Hole, August 2012Debs down Otter Hole:
Now my head is in an odd position because you thrusted when I wasn't expecting it!
I bet childbirth has nothing on this....
Deb's house, August 2012Debs: That's genuinely up there isn't it...?!?!
Deb's house, August 2012Debs: Ooooh, I love jizz in my pants!
North Wales, July 2012
North Wales, July 2012
Stu's house, May 2012
Bak of Stu's car, March 2012Anya: Can I put my leg here?
...
Simon: I'm getting too excited!
...
Anya: I think I'm putting it in the wrong hole...
Brandon hill, March 2012Ste: do you have a foot phobia?
Amy: nooo.....
Ste: what about a crotch phobia?!
Amy: arrrrrrrrrgh!
Annual dinner, March 2012
The bank, Bristol, March 2012Chris Burnley: I'd pay 20p to sleep with a man...
Coach and Horses, March 2012Alice: I offer myself to the Cavers!
UBSS hut, February 2012
UBSS mendip hut, February 2012Chris Smith poking around Adams crotch: What's that?
UBSS Mendip hut, February 2012
NPC hut, Yorkshire, February 2012
NPC hut, Yorkshire, February 2012Ollie: ...spillage is linkage
Bill: that's how all gang rapes start
NPC hut, Yorkshire, February 2012Anya: ...somebody bum me then
A Pub in Castleton, 2012Lesbian Chess would be much better, you get 2 Queens.
CHECC, November 2011Chris Burnley: apparently someone called me a good kisser
Pub, November 2011Richie:"It feels really good when you get it in your mouth"
UBSS hut, October 2011Stu about Geoff: "He'll flirt until his battery dies, both now and in life".
SWCC Hut, October 2011Simon: "Theres nothing wrong with a sweaty dungeon"
SWCC Hut, October 2011James(with a pumpkin on his head) to Dickon(with a pumpkin on his head): "How many educations do we have bettween us?"
SWCC Hut, October 2011Anya to Adam: "Was that my trousers or yours that ripped?"
SWCC Hut, October 2011James: " I need your shoulder underneath my crotch"
SWCC Hut, October 2011Anya: "How High is this in your crotch?"
"I am just grinding against your bone"
SWCC Hut, October 2011Amy: " you realise you have to go down to get it up?"
SWCC Hut, October 2011John to Cameron: "I had my face squashed in your Penis"
SWCC Hut, October 2011Chris: "you were pulling off his arse. If you go down lower its easier"
SWCC Hut, October 2011Cayley: "Who wants to play with me? I've had a lot to drink!"
SWCC Hut, October 2011James to Ryan: I'm not going down on you mate."
s, October 2011Adam: "He's slipping x3... More wrist!"
SWCC Hut, October 2011Chris: " Get down on him quickly!"
Croyden Caving Hut, October 2011Adam: "If you go all the way in, you don't touch the sides".
Croyden Caving Hut, October 2011Bridget: "No, that's too small. I prefer them bigger".
Cat: "Yeah, Bridget doesn't suck anything that small".
Wigmore, August 2011Down Wigmore...
Cat: Jon, do you want to come over me?
Pub, July 2011Stu: Does it still count as incest if its a threesome
Anya: yess unless they are twins
Swildons ladder, July 2011Cat: "I have to get my crotch wet before it's flexible!"
Tenby, July 2011Bill to Stuart:
"Your trousers are slippery! ...my hand just slips straight down!"
Dickonator's house, July 2011Stu: *puts a twig in Amy's builders crack*
~~5 hours later~~
Stu: have you found it yet?
Amy: No...
Highbury Vaults, May 2011Ollie discussing two men going to the toilet together:
"But it's not weird while you're doing it!"
April 2011Well your practically black
Bill to mandy
Devon, February 2011Amy to Mandy - "It becomes moist when you put your hand on it"
Devon, February 2011Ryan - "I've got the essence of man."
Devon, February 2011Rob to Ryan - "God yes! Lets do this!"
Cheltenham, February 2011Stu: Cat, are you sure you don't want to play "Guess the Molester"?
Cheltenham, February 2011Stu: Cat, are you sure you don't want to play "Guess the Molester"?
While enjoying the finer points of the technical masterpiece in Eastwater, January 2011Jon Hauser:
He should have blasted it a bit more
Pub, 2011Tasha: cats legs are like tescos, open 24/7
Pub, 2011Alice: that's what I like, stu and Alice massaging me in the shower
Pub, 2011Alice: that's what I like, stu and Alice massaging me in the shower
Near longwood, December 2010
Mendip hut, December 2010Amy & Alice discussing Mike & Ryan:
Amy: "He'll go down again in a minute"
Alice: "Yeah, he'll have to go down again if they are going to do it"
Mendip hut, December 2010Mandy
"you need to suck it harder"
Mendip hut, December 2010Ollie
"it's weird the first time, but you get used to it"
Swildon's Barn, December 2010Ryan: OMG my dick is on fire!
lion, December 2010Mike
i want a finger up woo graham woo...
December 2010Frank
well it depends how into anal stretching you are
December 2010I like the idea of tasting her mead
Bull pot farm, November 2010Cat fiddling between the legs of her oversuit:
"not sure if the two holes have joined together yet..."
pub, November 2010I fingered a crack and it turned into a gash
Eastwater, November 2010Cat - "Just stick your head in my crotch..."
Mendip hut, October 2010...your fallopian tubes fill up when you get a cold...
Red lion, September 2010Andrew on freshers:
There were a couple of lads I did stuff with down caves. They were PATHETIC! I dumped them after a couple of weeks
Highbury vaults, September 2010After having Alice's DVD taken off him:
Alex: Awwww..but I like porn... :-(
Cat and wheel, September 2010Alex telling us about his gf and ex discussing his meat and 2 veg...
Alex: no, she only said nice things...
Alice: thats a surprise!
Cat's house, Derbyshire, May 2010Stu - "Lift your legs up and i'll push it through"
Swildons, April 2010Rhys - "Ohhhh... your leg juice just went down my top"
Walking to keller, April 2010-- Stu upon being offered a syndi-shite leaflet
I'd rather sleep with Alice.
-- Slap.
White harte, April 2010-- Alice upon arrival
I've got the Shits.
In a Secret Bar, April 2010-- Geoff being silly
Yeah I just put it up my shirt sleeve, it's a snug fit.
-- Alice being foolish
Wow, I clearly need to learn more about masturbation.
-- Stu to Katie
Can you have a word with Alice, you look like the sort of person who would know about these things...
Pub, April 2010"Spread your legs Dickon"
- Mike
Pub, February 2010I'm living a life of constipation
- Alice
Spoons, February 2010Cat describes Geoff perfectly:
"If it's not dirty he's not doing it"
Spoons, February 2010Bridge: You've got an, erm, ball between your legs...
Wales, February 2010After five minutes of silence Dickon restarts the conversation:
"Have you ever looked at micropenis online?"
SWCC, February 2010Attempting to refer to a favorite colour:
"Your colour offends me"
Got this responce:
"I don't live in redland"
...
Cat's house, February 2010Alice you alright? don't worry, I'll rape you till you get warm :D
Cat's lounge, February 2010Yes yes yes Dickon, more more more!
can't remember, 2010if your peice had flopped out, it would have been in her mouth
in a tunnel in the pyrenees , July 2009Andy (in a tunnel in the pyrenees): I think i've got the headlights on, (pause) it's very dark in here.
Kayleigh: Have you got your sunglasses on?
Andy: Oh yeah! That's better!
Brizzle, April 2009French lesbian midget porn? Noooooooooooo!!!
between drinks, April 2009Don't put your mouth on other peoples' cheese!
The Pub, April 2009I am a secret male tree
Digging in GB Bat Passage, February 2009BANG! And the dirt is gone...
pub, 2009so babies come out the back??
A very cold yorkshire lane, December 2008The only way to cook an egg is to scotch it.
Paul
Notts II, December 2008I'm clean, you need to make me dirty.
Fay to Richard(westminster)
a pub in derbyshire, November 2008I should have asked for it rare.
Dickon having ordered a gammon steak
hunters, November 2008I'm starting to get into squeezy things
steve
post swildons, November 2008You can come in the girls' changing room if you want to see.
Fay
the hut, November 2008I think i've f***ed my forearms from too much wanking.
Edd
Pub in Wales, October 2008My sister has 3 bikinis... none of them fit me
Steve
Bens car, October 2008Shall I go around the other side or just come all over you?
Matt to James
pub in wales, October 2008God that's huge
Ben to Alvin
the foresters, October 2008Wahay... girls and tits and more
Edd
a pub, October 2008the last time i saw a stripper it was with my dad
Woody
the hut, October 2008"He ripped my arse wide open"
Sally to everyone around the fire, about who knows who
the hut, October 2008you'd probably do quite well in prison
monica to kayleigh
The Hut, October 2008Geoff: Are you sure you havn't left anything else in the boot?
Mike: Oooo...the tackle bag.
Geoff: It's on your back.
cottage co clare, September 2008i'm going to go for some choir boys, what do you think?
Ryan
a field co clare, September 2008i don't think it's electric ... arrrrgh ... it is
James vs the electric fence
car park co clare, September 2008my arseholes huge ... look i can get my hand up it
James
cottage co clare, September 2008That's exactly what i'm thinking of ... knobjockey
Andy
gragan west co clare, September 2008i don't think there's anywhere to go down here... arrrgh
Andy finding the cave
cottage co clare, September 2008'Muff diver' - Kayleigh
'That's a whole area we haven't explored yet' - Andy
cottage co clare, September 2008'James are you sure you dealt 7 cards? 'cos i've got 8' - Ryan
'That's 'cos you picked one up' - James
Helwith Bridge Inn, August 2008Digging is the second most sexual thing
Mad Girl in Yorkshire
Port Eynon, The Gower, June 2008Edd: Do you know where I can buy a toothbrush around here?
Shopkeeper: Yes, right here. Are you over 18?
Edd: ..... er ... yes
Shopkeeper: That'll be 39p then.
Hole in the Wall, May 2008Superted: About that man you fancied in Bath ...
Ryan: That was a woman, I swear!
Hole in the Wall, May 2008It wasn't my fault; he was in my bed
Ryan on bed sharing with James
Watching Planet Earth, April 2008Edd: ... its penis would tear you apart
Sally: Yeah, but you'd die satisfiedlater
Sally: ... and you'd be sure to feel something
Sally on why she would prefer to mate with a polar bear and not the 'gay' male birds were she an arctic bird.
On the end of a phone somewhere, April 2008I've got to get back to my anal and rectal surgery
Kayleigh
Daren Cilau, March 2008You can tell when you're clutching at straws when you use your head for friction.
Mike on Edd's (successful) mud climbing manoeuvre
Ryan's House, March 2008I don't want to see any more boobies!
Superted
Caving Easter Egg Hunt, March 2008I organised a dinner a short while ago. I had chicken as the vegetarian option.
Ed Moss
The Hut, Pre- Caving Easter Egg Hunt, March 2008They've painted the hut walls! I'm going to be overstimulated tonight.
Ryan
Pub, March 2008Spain is Spanish
Edd trying to sound intelligent
Annual Dinner, March 2008Andy is pretty shit at pulling
Fay
Annual Dinner, March 2008I'm getting it here, I'm getting it there
Nat
Annual Dinner, March 2008I love Italian stallions
Superted
Annual Dinner, March 2008Stop bitting my nipples Tree that is twice in a month!
Edd
Annual Dinner, March 2008Watch that Goliath in your groin!
Paul To Andy
I would like to see this Goliath
Deb's response
wsg hut wales, February 2008for the last week and a half it was just sausage constantly -Mike
wsg hut wales, February 2008time for some fun with some felt tip pens - Geoff
spoons, February 2008gonorrhea is fun - ryan
bernies, February 2008i need to buy one of those - James looking wistfully at an inflatable sheep
Yorkshire, February 2008Its ok my external arse is not wet
Ryan
Sally's car, January 2008I poked her til she squ[ealed]
Edd's brother on Tree
Edd's House, January 2008He put it in my face so I bit it
Tree's explaination for biting Edd's breast
Edd's house, January 2008I saw him and couldn't look at his face
Tree about Edd's brother
honeymead hole, January 2008give it a yank, that helps
ryan
honeymead hole, January 2008Tackle bags; they are like children you can abuse
Ryan
The Red Lion, January 2008I want to promote caving amongst the youngsters by promoting youngsters
Stan on his engagement
YSS, January 2008I had a dream about a shrew. It was the size of a cat ... [a minute later] I had a dream about a shrew. It was the size of a badger.
Stan
YSS, January 2008I remember big banging
Stan on his New Year's Eve
the bell toilets. Early new years eve, December 2007Random to Rob; Thats the sink!.. Oh you're washing your hands.
sloanes, December 2007I've found phone and tele, but i can't make it into a word.
Mike (watching word games on tv)
Christmas Meal Weekend, UBSS Hut, December 2007Edd, you sausaged me this morning.
Jon S
Christmas Meal Weekend, December 2007Ah, rape party; that sounds like my kind of party.
Ryan
OFD1, November 2007She was 60 but I'd still have her
Jon S
CHECC, November 2007And I was giving it all this [dancing move] and I said "I'm going to put it in you"
Jon S
CHECC, November 2007Right, well, things have progressed - I've pulled but I've got a stiff one so I need my jeans back.
Jon S
CHECC, November 2007Can vegetarians eat pig fat?
Jon S
CHECC, November 2007Jon S: Do you want to get naked?
Girl: No, that's tomorrow night
Jon S: Oh, I'm a Fresher, I don't know these things
CHECC, November 2007Do you still want me to milk you?
Jon S to James
CHECC, November 2007Pluto, the Greek philosopher
James
CHECC, November 2007Your nipple looks like an open wound
Tree to Edd
highbury vaults, November 2007pip : i'm wearing tights under my jeans.
james : i wish i could get away with that.
SRT Training, November 2007Stan: It's not always rape
Edd: They're asleep!
on the way to swildons, October 2007I am quite a hot person now.
Lou (she may have to explain)
wales, October 2007Edd: Don't knock it til u've tried it, its actually quite pleasant.
Christian: What having anal sex with you?
wales, October 2007I've taken you in every entrance.
Christian to Fay
wales, October 2007oh my god, i cant get Jon out of my mind.
Fay
wales, October 2007school kids, trousers down
james
Rocky Horror Pub Crawl, October 2007Oh, very cute
Pete Talling to Edd
white hart, October 2007Kayleigh to Ryan : I thought you only had eyes for James, now u've got Edd spreading his legs.
Edd: Can i have a tissue.
Swildon's Sump 1, October 2007I am a foam monster!
James (On emerging from an exceptionally foamy sump 1)
Draenen, October 2007we need a big vibrator then the water would go up hill
Edd
the hut, October 2007cannabilism isn't that immoral.
Andy Brown
the hut, October 2007Frank to Charlie : Have you heard the deffinition of space docking?
the hut, October 2007I have never proposed to someone in a same sex relationship.
Superted
the hut, October 2007I know i'm not Ryan, but hold that, hold it tight.
Superted standing in front of James
the hut, October 2007there are all sorts of uses for tampons.
Ed m
the hut, October 2007Is it cos your a virgin or are the girls you've done it with just skanky horrible.
Amy
A bit of both
Alex
the hut, October 2007This is better than sex.
Alex dabbing a wet cloth on his hand
the hut, October 2007to get the proper hallucination you need to feed it to them then drink their urine.
Rob on shrooms
eastwater, October 2007if you go in the wrong hole its horrible
fay
The Hut, October 2007You're not a big sausage man, are you?
Morven to Jon
christian, debs, frank and superted's house, October 2007If somethings hard, give up.
Superted (really at that point??)
erins car, September 2007I'm sure i could knock up a few brownies in a couple of hours.
Edd (and he claims he's not a paedophile)
Lamb & Flag outside Abergavenny, September 2007We're Irish, we knee-cap them; that's what we do
Ryan on women
the red lion, September 2007To tell the truth, i'm still full of tripe.
Clive
the hut, September 2007you don't need clothes or a big towel, it's the thought that counts.
Edd
The Hunter's, September 2007I've got a soft spot for Roger.
(A few seconds pass)
It's better than a hard spot.Si Flower
yorkshire, September 2007If u get him drunk enough he wont remember anything
unknown (again probably Kayleigh or Tree)
yorkshire, September 2007Phone sex is not allowed, i will save that for later
unknown (probably kayleigh or tree)
the hut, September 200714 inches long. thats how long my hole is.
Fay
the hut, September 2007I'm going to sit there naked, with a protractor doing maths.
rob
Edds house, September 2007What? I look lovely in a dress.
Edd
trees house, September 2007where are you sleeping tonight?
Superted to Edd
trees house, September 2007where's tree? when can we have tit cake?
Edd
yorkshire, September 2007I'm not sticking my hand down there, sorry.
Tree to James
yorkshire, September 2007James entered my fudge tunnel (unknown probably Ryan)
yorkshire, September 2007that's tender - christian
Like Ryans arse - James
Sangria party, September 2007Frank, please no. you know how i feel about porn after seeing my mothers.
Debs (after watching rude britania was suggested)
Sangria party, September 2007Given a while you could come round to the idea and quite enjoy animal bum sex.
Frank
Dartmoor, September 2007I've returned the milk to its origins.
Jon (after putting a carton of milk down in a rather large cow pat).
Dartmoor, September 2007I have a pole sticking in my arse.
Steve
Romania, September 2007we should go on mount stan
tree
Romania, August 2007Are we going togo dwn n stan in a minute
Fay
Romania, August 2007I'm not putting anything horrible in my mouth
Tree
Romania, August 2007I'm now thinking of foreskin
Sally
Romania, August 2007Its like milking a cow upside down
Tree
Romania, August 2007Virgil's entertaining himself over there
Tree
Romania, August 2007I did not smack you in the bollocks, they're not that big - Tree to James (- they are now - Virgil)
Romania, August 2007I been going up and down all day, actually I been going down mostly
James
Romania, August 2007Hand action always counts
James to Ryan
Romania, August 2007Why's that big turkey sitting on top of the little one
Tree
I thought that it was keeping it warm, I was really confused it was a hot day
Tree after explanation
Romania, August 2007I get excited by animals
Edd
Romania, August 2007Can we go somewhere private and I'll press you against a wall
Fay to Kayleigh
Romania, August 2007Lets be nice and gentle with each other
Fay to Sally
Romania, August 2007I'm a cave restorer
Edd after breaking a stal
Romania, August 2007You are not allowed to touch competitors
Ryan to James in a drinking game
Romania, August 2007Fay do you want me to jump on you
Ryan to Fay in the water
romania, August 2007Sally has a particularly fine arse and I could stare at it all day
Kayleigh
romania, August 2007"Think 4skin" Fay
romania, August 2007If you will stick in my face of course I am going to grab it
Tree
romania, August 2007Carbide smells like farts - virgil
I quite like the smell of carbide James
romania, August 2007Tree's breasts are her own
Virgil shortly after announcing that they were team property
Romania, August 2007"lies I can take it, I'm happy" Tree written after the statement TREE IS SOBER
romania, August 2007
You guys all think I'm drunk and I'm soooooooo notTree
romania, August 2007I am scared of 6 inches
Tree
romania, August 2007Christian nailed me after freshers weekend
James
romania, August 2007My sausage just dropped off
Ryan
romania, August 2007No, your no munching my sausage Edd
Ryan
romania, August 2007Fay, you're not getting any sausage tonight
Edd
romania, August 2007James sleep with your mouth open tonight
Ryan after playing with fire
romania, August 2007The voice in my head has no accent
Ryan
romania, August 2007I need to have some bit of ruff to make it feel like a caving trip
Unknown
romania, August 2007it was a large flat area
james - on groping trees chest
romania, August 2007i'm not big really
Ryan
Trev and Rachel's wedding, August 2007Linda: "Bill's definitely the hot, young doctor"
Steve: "He's not a doctor"
after a phone call to medical insurers, July 2007You'd think when you phone up to say you're deaf then they might come to the conclusion that you are a bit
deaf!!sally via email
top of jingling pot, June 2007i'm a jammer whore
tree
priddy post swildons, June 2007caving is like one big hug from the earth.
Jamie
pub crawl, June 2007it's not rape if Barry White is playing.
superted when discussing gay rape with Edd
The Scotchman and His Pack, June 2007Kayleigh's (written) pub quiz answer:
Q. In which state was Abraham Lincoln buried?
A. Vaginia.
training, June 2007ryan get your leg over
jon
Wells, June 2007Wells is just like Venice
Sally
ben's car, June 2007Ben, i can't get it up. I can't get it in, it's too tight.
James
trees hall, June 2007come on sally spread your legs.
Edd
St Werberg's Climbing Wall, June 2007I go for whatever's around
Anna (Tree's Housemate)
St Werberg's Climbing Wall, June 2007I'll grab anything that's available.
Kayleigh
the ship, June 2007Im a man's man
superted
June 2007There is a really good bush on whiteladies.
James
scotsman and his pack, June 2007It's ok, naked's my forte
edd
The Scotchman and His Pack, June 2007They stretched me, poked me, took my clothes off, then stretched me again.
Tree
A beach in Co. Clare, June 2007We're over here!"
Charlotte Lee
(She will need to explain the precise circumstances herself.)
The Ship, May 2007I'll ram him through
- James on Alex
May 2007trousers are like a treat
edd
OFD, May 2007Which hole are we aiming for?
Char Lee
OFD, May 2007I'll try and slide it in and out both ways!
Steve Cottle
The Hut, May 2007I still have a good appettite for an older man.
Steve Perry
Read's Cavern, May 2007
Andy's Car, May 2007Jon: Is this guest a boy or a girl?
Stan: Both
pub crawl, May 2007they're pretty damn good nuts
ben to jon
pub crawl, May 2007hey i'm wearing a top for a skirt, pull my knickers up.
sally
Embargo (?), May 2007Women often like spreading their legs
- Kayleigh
mr wolfs, April 2007The head says yes but little rob says no
superted on why it wouldnt work with rob d
GB, April 2007I nearly pummelled my chappy
- Edd after negotiating a rock in a squeeze
The Berkley, April 2007Do lesbians climb inside each other?
Superted
April 2007Last night I dreamt I was being shagged from behind by a dog.
It was a bit like a St. Bernard.
Simon Lee
glouster road, March 2007It's like a massage parlour but for men
ed - on tatoo parlours (i don't know who he thinks massage parlours are aimed at)
March 2007Look at that man's face! What's happened to him?
- Edd rather loudly about a man with blood pouring down his face while skipping with Tree to the Grecian
Kayleigh's, March 2007Jareck (Stan's mate): So if I go naked, I go through?
Stan: Is that a promise?
March 2007It's like riding the elephant.
Stan on Edd giving him a piggyback.
Kayleigh's, March 2007I'll have to work on his buttocks.
Tree
Post-Easter Egg Hunt Pub-time, March 2007I've been touching bats in places.
Stan
UBSS Hut, Easter Egg Hunt, March 2007That's the best thing about Massagesoc: lots of free balls.
Kayleigh
the ship, March 2007I no longer see her as an opportunity
stan
Pete's house, March 2007Don't spell it just swallow it.
Unknown (possibly James)
Highbury Vaults, March 2007I was going to be called Faith until i was a girl.
Superted (think he's trying to tell us something?)
cotham brow, March 2007being without the gossip is like being naked
stan (really is it that bad??)
the ship, March 2007I would rather be fined than hyperdermic
stan (lost in translation i think)
the ship, March 2007oh i still have a pair of your underpants, i offered them to morven as a balaklava.
jon to james
camping in daren, March 2007tonight i think i will rub myself
stan
christians car, February 2007Don't put that between my legs it's really cold and wet.
James (the mole) MacFarlane
rigging bar pot, February 2007Im just trying to tickle my clittle.
Sally
bull pot farm, February 2007It's the thing about to explode between your legs.
Andrew A to a bloke from Manchester
The Ship Inn, February 2007When I get old or infirm I'd quite like to be killed by being torn to pieces by wolves. That'd be dignified. - Fay Hewitt
romania, 2007I have myself my very small caving towel as used to expose myself to small children with
Edd
romania, 2007They contain butter or something
Tree talking about butter biscuits
Somewhere over Europe on route to Romania, 2007I wouldn't mind being an air hostess
Ryan
In a mendip pub, 2007Are there many caves down here
Fay
Various caves throughout the world, 2007I'm not sure I can reverse that!
Dr Boycott on numerous occasions having just done a squeeze or a climb.
Hogmanay at the Hut, December 2006Si was heard to say:
"I've had my balls in Charlie's face and he loved it"
shortly before declaring that he wanted to have "head wars".However, apparently both comments referred to festive headgear and were therefore the result of donning extra clothing rather than the reverse, much to the relief of all those present.
Brizzle, December 2006"Don't worry, I'm not going to crash"
Jon Telling, seconds before leaving a lasting impression on a nearby car.
Hogmanay at the Hut, December 2006"Ken shot his bolt on the chips earlier"
Kirsten
Hogmanay at the Hut, December 2006"So, if it ends up all over everybody, are we meant to lick it off?"
Kirsten (getting excited about what can be achieved with a Christmas cracker spinning top and some brandy butter).
November 2006'he had soft lucious lips'
Superted on pulling Rob at CHECC
The hut, November 2006This short conversation between a rather inebriated Fay Hewitt and some unknown but unlucky soul was overheard at Bonfire weekend:
Fay: "Are you happy?"
Unlucky soul: "Ummm, yeah."
Fay: "You won't be when I puke in your lap."
Unlucky soul: "..........."
2003
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2003
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Yorkshire, February 2002
Wales, February 2002
Jura, 2001The following three were apparently uttered by Bill Miners:
Whilst trying to see if it was worth climbing a steep hill to look from the top, Bill asks a Frenchman "Vous avez une bonne visage?" (You have a nice face?)
On inquiring of a German girl whether they she had had a good caving trip, Bill asks: "Haben sie ein gutte holle?"
After turning the light by his bed on in the middle of the night, Bill apologised in the morning with the following excuse: "Sorry but I was pillow munching and the pillow turned the light on."
Yorkshire,Upon being chased by a sheep while walking back to the car, having failed to find Lower Longchurn, Si Flower was heard to utter "She's quite cute" before giving chase to the terrified animal.